Life can be messy. Relationships crumble, addiction takes hold, and emotional pain can become unbearable. In moments like these, we often turn to professionals for help. Unfortunately, this help does not always meet our expectations. Instead of healing, we may experience a sense of betrayal or disillusionment. This disappointment is known as “helper trauma.”
Many people experience this type of trauma because it is not uncommon for professionals to fail us. In fact, a study published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology found that many people experience disappointment with their therapists. The disappointment may stem from several factors including a lack of progress, feeling misunderstood, or experiencing a sense of judgment from the professional. In any case, the consequences can be devastating. The disappointment of not getting the help we need can leave us feeling helpless and inhibited from seeking professional help in the future.
If you have experienced helper trauma, you are not alone. This blog post is for those who have found themselves in this position and are searching for ways to move forward.
Let's dive into some helpful advice for things you can do if you have expeirienced helper trauma.
1. Compassion for Yourself
In order to move forward, you must start with compassion for yourself. It is natural to feel disappointed or even angry if the help you received was not effective. These are normal emotions and should be treated with kindness and patience. If you find yourself blaming yourself for the lack of progress, remind yourself that there are many factors that may have contributed to the lack of success.
2. Recalibrating Expectations
It is important to recalibrate your expectations of what professional help can provide. We often come to the table with unrealistic expectations of what therapy or counseling can do. While therapy can be incredibly helpful in a wide range of cases, it is not a magic cure-all.
Additionally, there are specific types of therapy that may be more tailored to your situation. For example, if you are struggling with addiction, a therapist who specializes in addiction treatment may provide more effective help than a general practice therapist. The process of finding a good match can be frustrating, but it is worth the effort to find the best help for you.
3. Communication is Key
When we visit a professional for help, we are often vulnerable and reluctant to speak up when we feel our needs are not being met. Try to address any concerns or disappointments with the professional. The research shows that patients who communicate their concerns with their therapist or counselor are more likely to have positive outcomes.
Furthermore, the therapist may not even know that you are struggling if you do not share your experience. Do not be afraid to express your needs and advocate for yourself in the therapeutic relationship. If the professional cannot provide the help you need, you are within your rights to seek a different therapist or counselor.
4. Find Support Elsewhere
If you find yourself experiencing helper trauma, it may be helpful to seek support elsewhere. This could be through talking to a friend or family member, or joining a support group. It can be helpful to have a space to talk about your challenges and receive empathy from others.
5. Learning from Disappointment
While helper trauma can be discouraging, it can also be a learning experience. Take some time to reflect on what did not work for you and why. Were your expectations realistic? Were you open to receiving help, or did you have resistance to the process? Use this experience as an opportunity to learn about yourself and what you need in order to find effective help in the future.
Helper trauma can be a devastating experience, especially if you are struggling with mental health concerns or addiction. But it’s important to remember that professional help is not a one-size-fits-all solution. Finding the right fit can take time and effort, but it is worth it in the end. If you have experienced disappointment, remember to be compassionate with yourself, adjust expectations, communicate your needs, seek support elsewhere if necessary, and learn from the experience. With these tools, you can move forward towards true healing and recovery.
